Agoraphobia isn't necessarily about being afraid of going outside BECAUSE it's outside. For a lot of us, and for myself in particular, the fear of being outside and having a PANIC ATTACK while outside is what my agoraphobia is about.
I was diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia in my late 20's and it was something I had no clue about. I, like many out there, had no idea what mental illness was about. People with mental illness were like those crazy people who wore white jackets and talked to themselves loudly while sitting in the corner. I had a very prejudiced view of mental illness. Until I became mentally ill myself. And then my life changed.
How it relates to my weight, well... a lot of my agoraphobia and panic has to do with my weight and how I am concerned about others and what they perceive me as a fat woman. Let's be honest - being a fat woman or man in today's society and being outside, you might as well have a large red target on your body for the insults, jeers and stink-eye looks that are thrown your way.
It kills your self-esteem.
It kills your will.
I'm not delusional to think that losing weight will magically cure me of my anxiety and agoraphobia. I've had to work on that even while I'm fat. But, I know my self-esteem and sense of self-worth will improve if I make steps to improve my own health.
Right now I'm unhealthy. I'm not employable. I'm fat and a shut-in. And this has to change.
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